As I was sitting doing GRE prep work on vocabulary (which I was kicking ass at), I was suddenly disturbed by the ringing of my phone. Since I have caller ID, I knew it was a friend and welcomed the distraction. In the first 5 minutes, per usual, he was circling around in a conversation not making much sense and I finally asked him if he was calling for a legitimate reason. That was my first mistake. He was calling to place a little wager..... Although the terms are sketchy (meaning, there doesn't seem to be prize for the winner or consequence for the loser) I humored him and agreed to it. The bet: I have until July 31 to put on 3 lbs. I laughed out loud and continue to laugh to myself. Clearly people just don't get it. This was pretty much the straw to break the proverbial camel's back. Ironically enough, my husband and I discussed my issues with eating last night since the workshop I participate in was very triggering yesterday. But, I'll assume he didn't talk to my husband and this is coming from general concern.
Let me preface my rant by saying this first: I know that each and every statement about my weight (or lack thereof) is coming from a place of love and concern for my overall well being. I'm not angry at all. I know people are worried but what is starting to worry me more is the ignorance of my disease. I was told by one of the many psychiatric treaters I have that I needed to put on 3 lbs before returning to work, well, turns out I weigh less now than when I went out on leave. Concerning, yes but we'll get to that later. In the last week I've been (in addition to the wager), the following has occurred:
1. You need to eat
2. Eat some baby back ribs
3. Just go to Coldstone
4. You're a stick!
5. You are so thin! Are you like that on purpose?
6. Eat more protein
7. Chow down on Big Macs
Of course these are in addition to the calls wherein I am asked, "What did you eat today?" Again, the ignorance is starting to grate on my nerves. I understand not everyone knows what to say. There isn't really a book of etiquette when it comes to dealing with a close friend/family member battling an eating disorder. If there is, please let me know so I can give them out as Christmas presents. In the mean time, here's the deal:
I DON'T WANT TO EAT
I know it's hard to believe it's that simple, but it truly is. So telling me to eat or what to eat isn't helping me, although I know where you're all coming from. As my husband says, "You're fucked." And in it's simplest form, I am because I don't want to eat. I wish I knew why I didn't want to eat. I am hoping one of my treating professionals can tell me and we can work on it. But, instead I'm setting goal weights for myself. So, sure, I have this wager but it's not incentive to eat. It's funny, in a sick twisted way, but the longer you go without eating, the easier it is NOT to eat. I've spiraled so far out of control that I don't even know how or why this started. I just know that I'm not ready to give up.
Do I eat? Yes. Anorexics do eat. In most cases, they eat every day (as do I). It's just what we eat. I physically cannot handle too large a meal. I get so grossly ill that it's not worth it to me. For some reason, I do better at eating when we're out in a restaurant. I don't know why but it's something my husband has noticed. Maybe the glass of wine lowers my will power.... I have no idea. I guess a great deal of the problem is, I am still not in a dangerous weight range nor am I feeling any serious affects from it. Apparently I lack energy--- so I've been told. There may be truth to that statement, so I'll go with it for now.
My husband believe the anorexia really has no ascertainable beginning point or ending point, but rather it's the collateral damage of what I have been dealing with over what will soon be a year. I can see that. But, I'm going off on a tangent.....
The main point is, what I once took for granted (eating) is now almost an impossibility for me. I wish I could eat, but I can't. It sounds ludicrous--- I know. When I say it out loud even I'm like, what the fuck am I talking about. Eating is difficult. Plain and simple. It's not a matter of will power or even control. Now I'm into a layer of fear. Restricting food is an addiction and like most addictions, it's hard to stop. I don't know how to eat anymore. Ironically, I don't think about food and I'm not all consumed by calories/fat/exercise. I just don't think about it. If there is food there, I may or may not eat it. Eating just isn't important to me---which in all honesty scares me. I often wonder what it is going to take to get me to stop this roller coaster ride but I don't have the answers. Would more time out of work help? Probably not. It just sort of is what it is.
I can say that negativity DOES NOT help. For example, telling me that I look terrible or sick or that I'm not getting better does not encourage me. In actuality, it makes me do the opposite. It makes me feel as though any work or effort I have put in STILL isn't enough so why bother? There is a way to approach the situation in a positive way such as, "I know you're trying but you still don't look good and I'm concerned because I love you." Very easy. Very simple. But to badger me about it, well, that's the worst thing to do.
Another thing that doesn't help? Ignoring it. It's real and it's there. Don't pretend it's not because that makes me uncomfortable. I have no problem discussing the anorexia-- clearly or wouldn't be posting it on a public blog--- but pretending there isn't a problem, isn't going to make it go away. Do I want to get better? 100% yes. Believe it or not, I am working towards that goal. The first order of business is to figure out why I don't want to eat. Until I do that, there really isn't much I can do. The good news is, I am trying to figure it out by going to therapy and outpatient treatment. I'm not ignoring the problem. I truly want to stop, but sadly, it's difficult.
I can appreciate most people's ignorance on the matter. I have a handful of people in my life (not in the psychology field) who have had past experience in this with either friends, family or me for that matter. They get it. Sometimes noticing how much I ate is more more effective than noticing how much I didn't eat. It's a tough concept to understand--- it seems to against all reason.
To be honest, I'm dancing as fast as I can folks. This isn't going to happen overnight.... and until I can get to the root of my problem, it is what it is. I do try. I do make an effort. I'm thankful to have people in my life who are so worried and concerned. This is just a daily struggle..... sadly. I know the consequences and it's not that I don't care, there is just a part of me that doesn't believe they can happen to me. Although I admit I am anorexic (through a great deal of therapy), deep down inside, I don't feel like I am.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Cruise 2011: Day 5 (Coming Home)
Three girls with a dream set off on an adventure...... as with most good things, this adventure had come to an end. The Carnival Destiny had docked in Miami and it was time to go home. So sad. We filled up on breakfast and caught up on email because we finally had working internet service then we parted ways once outside the port. GF#2 was off to Miami International Airport and #1 and I were off to Ft. Lauderdale. All I can think about is how much I hate to fly..... The anticipation was horrible as usual but I sat and reflected back on all those "shared moments" between Donnie and me. I came to the conclusion that the name of the ship was the Destiny for a reason. We'll be together again, I just know it. We have more moments to share....
While waiting in the airport terminal, we ended up chatting with the dad of one of the New Kids. Turns out he's on our flight. I met him last year and we chatted but this year, we ended up sitting with him on the flight. We talked about this and that.... He shared some fun anecdotes about the old days when they started out. Without him knowing it, he created more of a personal relationship between us and the guys. I knew things about them which weren't particularly sacred but tidbits of information that made them more real to us.
He asked us if we had tickets to any of the upcoming shows with the Backstreet Boys. GF#1 is very blunt.... without missing a beat she said, "No, we hate the Backstreet Boys." Inside I went *ugh* but on the outside I laughed when I saw he found the humor in it. Maybe we should reconsider? Maybe we should go to the concert? Hmmmmm....
As we parted ways with him at the airport, we exchanged information and decided that if we did go to see a concert, we'd let him know and meet up again. Did this really happen? Did we just make friends with one of the dads? Only GF#1 and I..... Meanwhile, at an airport an hour away, GF#2 was flying home with Jon and Jordan Knight only six rows in front of her on the plane. Really????? I can't believe how we ended up in these situations.... are they all coincidental? I don't know.
What I do know is this: It was all Destiny.
PS- The three of us ended up going to a NKOTBSB concert. It was truly amazing. Did we meet up with the dad? Hell yeah. No, we didn't go backstage. I'll admit, sure it was in the back of our heads but at the same time, having these moments--- one on one mean more than a photo op.
While waiting in the airport terminal, we ended up chatting with the dad of one of the New Kids. Turns out he's on our flight. I met him last year and we chatted but this year, we ended up sitting with him on the flight. We talked about this and that.... He shared some fun anecdotes about the old days when they started out. Without him knowing it, he created more of a personal relationship between us and the guys. I knew things about them which weren't particularly sacred but tidbits of information that made them more real to us.
He asked us if we had tickets to any of the upcoming shows with the Backstreet Boys. GF#1 is very blunt.... without missing a beat she said, "No, we hate the Backstreet Boys." Inside I went *ugh* but on the outside I laughed when I saw he found the humor in it. Maybe we should reconsider? Maybe we should go to the concert? Hmmmmm....
As we parted ways with him at the airport, we exchanged information and decided that if we did go to see a concert, we'd let him know and meet up again. Did this really happen? Did we just make friends with one of the dads? Only GF#1 and I..... Meanwhile, at an airport an hour away, GF#2 was flying home with Jon and Jordan Knight only six rows in front of her on the plane. Really????? I can't believe how we ended up in these situations.... are they all coincidental? I don't know.
What I do know is this: It was all Destiny.
PS- The three of us ended up going to a NKOTBSB concert. It was truly amazing. Did we meet up with the dad? Hell yeah. No, we didn't go backstage. I'll admit, sure it was in the back of our heads but at the same time, having these moments--- one on one mean more than a photo op.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
22 Memories and 14 Legacies
It's been 14 long years since I lost my dad. His anniversary was recently and it seems that it's getting harder and harder. Most likely it has to do with the fact that he's missed out on so much and I feel like he's been gone as long as he was my dad. We aren't quite there yet, but soon. The list of important moments which have passed without his presence goes on: college graduation, graduate school graduation, my wedding, the birth of my child and so on....
I have only recently embraced my mom's husband as my stepfather. He's an amazing man who has NEVER tried to take the place of my father but there have been moments where I've caught myself calling him "dad" by accident. (Calling Dr. Freud, calling Dr. Freud......). My time in the "hospital" has helped me come to this point. It would be a lie to say that I'm at 100% with this but I'm working on it. It's part selfish brat, part loyalty/respect for my dad. I'm not sure when it switched but I can say, there was no one, including my godfather, that I would have wanted to walk me down the aisle but him. In the last year, with mom being sick, our bond has deepened. We were each other's rock.... at least he was mine.
I still have a difficult time keeping a boundary now and as I get older, I don't know if I need this boundary. I can love my dad and still love my stepfather, although it will never be the same love. I think that's what my mom has been trying to explain to me for years. I've come quite a ways--- through radical acceptance.
A dear friend of mine lost her dad 3 days after I lost mine, hers was more sudden and unexpected but she has been able to give me great guidance on how to explain my dad to my daughter as if he's still here. She's been told she has a special guardian angel watching over her--- and me. My friend wrote a tribute to her dad this year which inspired me to do something similar. Of course I have more than 22 memories, but 22 represents the number of years he was physically present in my life as my dad. So, if you will indulge me:
22 MEMORIES
1. Frequent trips to the local zoo to see the animals and ride the carousel, just the two of us.
2. Sitting in my room on a hot summer's night and him coming in and asking if I'd like to go and see "Annie." I remember this moment so clearly too.... I was inside playing with my Barbies and the Barbie Dream pool.
3. The look on his face the day I received my acceptance letter from Boston University. There was a look of pure joy. He was so proud of me.... When he went to hug me he picked me up off the ground-- which was so uncharacteristic of him
4. Hot summer nights watching the Yankee game with him in the living room because it had an air conditioner. My mom would put together a makeshift bed and I would try to stay awake to watch the game with him. I can still remember the yellow Minnie Mouse nightgown I wore.
5. One year for Halloween, he dressed up as his favorite New York Yankee, Mr. October, Number 44, Reggie Jackson.
6. For as long as I can remember his cards were addressed to "Little '44'", and signed "Love Daddy, Big '44'"
7. The passion and love he had for his job as well as the people he helped.
8. Not all memories can be good, obviously but they still shape the person you are. I still remember what he said to me the day he told me he was terminal. I'll cherish those words forever and I will never forget that it was the first time I ever saw him cry.
9. Although I didn't understand it at the time, he always left mid-way through Thanksgiving dinner to "throw out the trash." It wasn't until the first Thanksgiving he was gone that I realized what that code was for.
10. Some of his favorite things were simple pleasures which reminded him of being a kid --- Christmas, Disney World, the Muppets and chocolate cabinets.
11. How he'd joke he was going to claim my best friend on his taxes from being at my house so much. She later went on to give his eulogy and is still in my life today. I love her unconditionally and so did he.
12. In the last remaining weeks of his life, I came home from college to spend time with him. At this point he was confined to the bedroom. He spent day in and day out sitting in his over sized navy blue recliner watching TV. I would just sit there, by his side, holding his hand.
13. His LOVE of Jack Nicholson. My father found humor in him even in the most serious of roles. There was just "something" about Jack that made him laugh. He had a great laugh too--- unlike anyone else's I have ever heard.
14. I remember watching TV shows like Vegas, Hart to Hart, Magnum PI and re-reruns of Hawaii 5-0. My mom would be at work and he'd keep me up, at 6 or 7 years old to watch cop shows with him. As soon as he saw the headlights of my mom's car, he sent me right up stairs.
15. When I was 7 years old, I got the chicken pox. I missed the last week of second grade. Not a big loss but at the time I was devastated. When he came home from work the day they started, he brought me a stuffed yellow and white unicorn. I have that unicorn to this day. Ironically, dad ended up catching the chicken pox from me....
16. Father/Daughter dances were the highlight of the school year for both my dad and me. After every dance, we ended up either at Friendly's or a local restaurant. My dad would be dressed in a beautiful suit and would give me a bouquet of roses a flower girl would carry in a wedding. Those pictures, from all 8 dances are still prominently displayed in my home.
17. My first trip to Yankee stadium with him. A moment like that remains eternally priceless.
18. His cologne. If I try hard enough, I can still remember the smell.
19. Sitting on the steps of the porch at our old house during the summer. Most of those moments were silent-- given the nature of who he was--- but I look back on those moments as tiny treasures which would learn to cherish years later.
20. At Christmas, my cousins and I were stuck at the kid table... In the kitchen. Not a whole lot of fun but, my dad would come and hang out with us at the kid table. At the time, I thought he was doing it because he was the cool dad and felt bad that we were ostracized..... Again, years later I realized the truth behind this.
21. Every sentence to me usually started with, "Kid...."
22. His last days. I was the last person he saw before he went into a coma. Although it didn't last long, it felt as though it was an eternity. I can still remember the moment he died, family by the bedside. I was lying there, on the bed with him, my head on his shoulder and an arm wrapped around him in a semi-hug as he took his last breath.
He may be gone now but he has left me with not only powerful words of wisdom but traditions I can carry on forever. For each year he's been gone, there's been a lesson I've learned whether about myself as a person, or about the person he wanted me to become.
14 LEGACIES
1. The diamond necklace from him that I wear daily. I received this necklace when I graduated from law school, 4 years after his death.
2. "Keep Your Friends Close, and your Enemies Closer."
3. Respect, Loyalty and Family-- that's what it means to be Italian
4. "Keep Your Nose Clean"
5. The St. Michael medal he wore around his neck until the day he died. It's been passed on to me and someday, it will be passed on to my daughter.
6. "Keep Your Mouth Closed, and Your Ears Open"
7. It's not important to get mad, or get even but to get revenge-- spoken like a true Sicilian
8. When I'm driving, I'm always in the right
9. Not to take life for granted-- especially time. No matter how much money you have, you can't take it with you so live each day as though it were your last.
10. Be true to who you are and where you came from
11. It doesn't take a college diploma to make you a success in your life if you are doing what you love
12. As his daughter, I learned what is possible and expected from my husband to be an amazing dad to our daughter
13. The driveway goes one way, once you go down, you don't come back
14. He will always be with me, wherever I go, in my heart.
When I look at my little girl, and I'm sad to think he isn't here to see her, I hope I can remember all these things. I look forward to the day when I can tell her all about him and she'll be able to understand what an amazing person her "Gampa" truly was.......
I have only recently embraced my mom's husband as my stepfather. He's an amazing man who has NEVER tried to take the place of my father but there have been moments where I've caught myself calling him "dad" by accident. (Calling Dr. Freud, calling Dr. Freud......). My time in the "hospital" has helped me come to this point. It would be a lie to say that I'm at 100% with this but I'm working on it. It's part selfish brat, part loyalty/respect for my dad. I'm not sure when it switched but I can say, there was no one, including my godfather, that I would have wanted to walk me down the aisle but him. In the last year, with mom being sick, our bond has deepened. We were each other's rock.... at least he was mine.
I still have a difficult time keeping a boundary now and as I get older, I don't know if I need this boundary. I can love my dad and still love my stepfather, although it will never be the same love. I think that's what my mom has been trying to explain to me for years. I've come quite a ways--- through radical acceptance.
A dear friend of mine lost her dad 3 days after I lost mine, hers was more sudden and unexpected but she has been able to give me great guidance on how to explain my dad to my daughter as if he's still here. She's been told she has a special guardian angel watching over her--- and me. My friend wrote a tribute to her dad this year which inspired me to do something similar. Of course I have more than 22 memories, but 22 represents the number of years he was physically present in my life as my dad. So, if you will indulge me:
22 MEMORIES
1. Frequent trips to the local zoo to see the animals and ride the carousel, just the two of us.
2. Sitting in my room on a hot summer's night and him coming in and asking if I'd like to go and see "Annie." I remember this moment so clearly too.... I was inside playing with my Barbies and the Barbie Dream pool.
3. The look on his face the day I received my acceptance letter from Boston University. There was a look of pure joy. He was so proud of me.... When he went to hug me he picked me up off the ground-- which was so uncharacteristic of him
4. Hot summer nights watching the Yankee game with him in the living room because it had an air conditioner. My mom would put together a makeshift bed and I would try to stay awake to watch the game with him. I can still remember the yellow Minnie Mouse nightgown I wore.
5. One year for Halloween, he dressed up as his favorite New York Yankee, Mr. October, Number 44, Reggie Jackson.
6. For as long as I can remember his cards were addressed to "Little '44'", and signed "Love Daddy, Big '44'"
7. The passion and love he had for his job as well as the people he helped.
8. Not all memories can be good, obviously but they still shape the person you are. I still remember what he said to me the day he told me he was terminal. I'll cherish those words forever and I will never forget that it was the first time I ever saw him cry.
9. Although I didn't understand it at the time, he always left mid-way through Thanksgiving dinner to "throw out the trash." It wasn't until the first Thanksgiving he was gone that I realized what that code was for.
10. Some of his favorite things were simple pleasures which reminded him of being a kid --- Christmas, Disney World, the Muppets and chocolate cabinets.
11. How he'd joke he was going to claim my best friend on his taxes from being at my house so much. She later went on to give his eulogy and is still in my life today. I love her unconditionally and so did he.
12. In the last remaining weeks of his life, I came home from college to spend time with him. At this point he was confined to the bedroom. He spent day in and day out sitting in his over sized navy blue recliner watching TV. I would just sit there, by his side, holding his hand.
13. His LOVE of Jack Nicholson. My father found humor in him even in the most serious of roles. There was just "something" about Jack that made him laugh. He had a great laugh too--- unlike anyone else's I have ever heard.
14. I remember watching TV shows like Vegas, Hart to Hart, Magnum PI and re-reruns of Hawaii 5-0. My mom would be at work and he'd keep me up, at 6 or 7 years old to watch cop shows with him. As soon as he saw the headlights of my mom's car, he sent me right up stairs.
15. When I was 7 years old, I got the chicken pox. I missed the last week of second grade. Not a big loss but at the time I was devastated. When he came home from work the day they started, he brought me a stuffed yellow and white unicorn. I have that unicorn to this day. Ironically, dad ended up catching the chicken pox from me....
16. Father/Daughter dances were the highlight of the school year for both my dad and me. After every dance, we ended up either at Friendly's or a local restaurant. My dad would be dressed in a beautiful suit and would give me a bouquet of roses a flower girl would carry in a wedding. Those pictures, from all 8 dances are still prominently displayed in my home.
17. My first trip to Yankee stadium with him. A moment like that remains eternally priceless.
18. His cologne. If I try hard enough, I can still remember the smell.
19. Sitting on the steps of the porch at our old house during the summer. Most of those moments were silent-- given the nature of who he was--- but I look back on those moments as tiny treasures which would learn to cherish years later.
20. At Christmas, my cousins and I were stuck at the kid table... In the kitchen. Not a whole lot of fun but, my dad would come and hang out with us at the kid table. At the time, I thought he was doing it because he was the cool dad and felt bad that we were ostracized..... Again, years later I realized the truth behind this.
21. Every sentence to me usually started with, "Kid...."
22. His last days. I was the last person he saw before he went into a coma. Although it didn't last long, it felt as though it was an eternity. I can still remember the moment he died, family by the bedside. I was lying there, on the bed with him, my head on his shoulder and an arm wrapped around him in a semi-hug as he took his last breath.
He may be gone now but he has left me with not only powerful words of wisdom but traditions I can carry on forever. For each year he's been gone, there's been a lesson I've learned whether about myself as a person, or about the person he wanted me to become.
14 LEGACIES
1. The diamond necklace from him that I wear daily. I received this necklace when I graduated from law school, 4 years after his death.
2. "Keep Your Friends Close, and your Enemies Closer."
3. Respect, Loyalty and Family-- that's what it means to be Italian
4. "Keep Your Nose Clean"
5. The St. Michael medal he wore around his neck until the day he died. It's been passed on to me and someday, it will be passed on to my daughter.
6. "Keep Your Mouth Closed, and Your Ears Open"
7. It's not important to get mad, or get even but to get revenge-- spoken like a true Sicilian
8. When I'm driving, I'm always in the right
9. Not to take life for granted-- especially time. No matter how much money you have, you can't take it with you so live each day as though it were your last.
10. Be true to who you are and where you came from
11. It doesn't take a college diploma to make you a success in your life if you are doing what you love
12. As his daughter, I learned what is possible and expected from my husband to be an amazing dad to our daughter
13. The driveway goes one way, once you go down, you don't come back
14. He will always be with me, wherever I go, in my heart.
When I look at my little girl, and I'm sad to think he isn't here to see her, I hope I can remember all these things. I look forward to the day when I can tell her all about him and she'll be able to understand what an amazing person her "Gampa" truly was.......
Friday, May 27, 2011
Cruise 2011: Day 4 (Red Carpet Night)
Sadly, it's our last full day on the boat but what a day it was going to be.....
It was almost here-- the one guaranteed photo op with all five of the guys. It's pretty much the culmination for most of the fans (unless you stalk them, which we don't) because it's the only picture you can truly count on with your man. Luckily I had a shared moment on a white leather sofa with Donnie but barring that, I never ran into him on the ship. This year we were able to form our group of 10 girls for the photo because we had made friends from the previous cruise. The best part-- I was the only Donnie girl. That NEVER happens. I usually have to fight for a spot near him but not this year. He was ALL MINE. Yum.
The group photo went quickly but I left satisfied. I got a huge bear hug from Donnie and a kiss. I even left a lip gloss print on his check which I so carefully rubbed off. I tried not to think of how many other kisses he received there... I needed to hold on to my moment. We were able to hug all the guys and they were so sweet, as usual. But, after 3 minutes, it's all over until we receive an email notifying us the picture is up and we can relive that moment all over again. Now this was over, I had some real business to take care of.... It was time to line up for D-Dub's Back Rub.
Lines. Lines. Lines and more lines. If I was asked to describe my experience as a New Kids fan I would say, "It requires a great deal of patience because you stand in line alot." To date, I've stood in line outside in Boston in January in the middle of the night, I've stood in line in Boston in the humidity 14 weeks pregnant, I've stood in line for various meet and greets, photo opportunities and finally in line for 6 hours for the Back Rub. It was a total cluster fuck. No one knew where the wait or what time to line up. Ugh, stress. Finally some woman from the cruise came out with green wristbands. I pushed and shoved to get one. Was it worth it? yes, and let me tell you why....
Here's the thing, I can't describe the back rub. There are no words. You need to live it or hear it or see it. There is just no way to put into words what you experience. Simply put it's Donnie on stage talking semi dirty while massaging various lucky girls.... Sounds silly. People mock it--- but you come out a changed woman. Donnie would always take it so far without crossing the line. Well, that was LAST year. This year it was pornographic. Dirty. Hot. Sexy. Did I say pornographic???? I was mesmerized and the fantasy of Donnie is probably better than the real thing, which is fine. I watched him choose girls from the audience and feed them chocolate covered strawberries and champagne while saying amazingly sexual things. I totally blacked out for a minute, I'm sure of it.
At one point, he brought a girl on stage and poured whipped cream into her mouth only to lick the excess off her chin. Yup. Hot. Just hot. At that point, Donnie takes a fresh can of whipped cream and says, "Ladies, close your eyes. If you feel near you, open your mouth." As he walked through the crowd, he saw girls peaking and told them they lucked out. My eyes were closed so tight, I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to open them again. Just then, I felt a presence of someone in front of me, then his fingers on my lips.... so, I did what I was told ad opened my mouth only to have him pour whipped cream into my mouth...... *ugh.* There was some excess whipped cream on my chin too--- now, because my eyes were closed I don't know if he used his fingers or his tongue to remove it. I wish I could write about the rest of the show, but I don't know what happened. By this point, I was in my own world. My own place. My own fantasy. Next I knew, the lights were up and GF#2 said, "are you ok? Its time to go."
Off we went to get dressed for Red Carpet night, our last night on the cruise. Our last night to party on the Lido Deck. We saw an amazing acoustic show with Danny Wood then listened to Joe McIntyre belt out Broadway tunes. FYI, Joe is hilarious. He's hilarious when he's drunk, when he's sober, whenever. He entertains a crowd and draws the women in like Donnie does but in a whole different way. I think he may be my #2 favorite--- if I had to choose.
After the shows, I ran to the casino so I could watch Donnie play poker. Yup. Sounds just as exciting as watching gold. Actually, golf may be a tad more exciting. Wow. It was hot and boring. But, there was some humorous commentary by Joe which created a bit more enjoyment but overall, I stood there in 5 inch heels and a cocktail dress to watch Donnie. Last year he had a microphone and was funny. This year, there was no microphone. Just a bullhorn so there was nothing to really hear. Being a true Donnie girl, it's really all about seeing him--- he doesn't have to say a thing.
Rumor had it there was a torrential downpour out on the Lido Deck but thankfully it stopped by the time we were out there. It was our last chance to party. GF #2 and I grabbed GF#1 and we partied until we couldn't anymore. We watched our boys in tuxedos dance, sing and tell us they love us. Unless you've been on the cruise, you don't understand what this truly means to be there. It's such an intimate environment that you walk off that boat and feel like you've really gotten to know these guys. You partied with them.... it was one on one time. It was amazing.....
Can't wait until next year.
It was almost here-- the one guaranteed photo op with all five of the guys. It's pretty much the culmination for most of the fans (unless you stalk them, which we don't) because it's the only picture you can truly count on with your man. Luckily I had a shared moment on a white leather sofa with Donnie but barring that, I never ran into him on the ship. This year we were able to form our group of 10 girls for the photo because we had made friends from the previous cruise. The best part-- I was the only Donnie girl. That NEVER happens. I usually have to fight for a spot near him but not this year. He was ALL MINE. Yum.
The group photo went quickly but I left satisfied. I got a huge bear hug from Donnie and a kiss. I even left a lip gloss print on his check which I so carefully rubbed off. I tried not to think of how many other kisses he received there... I needed to hold on to my moment. We were able to hug all the guys and they were so sweet, as usual. But, after 3 minutes, it's all over until we receive an email notifying us the picture is up and we can relive that moment all over again. Now this was over, I had some real business to take care of.... It was time to line up for D-Dub's Back Rub.
Lines. Lines. Lines and more lines. If I was asked to describe my experience as a New Kids fan I would say, "It requires a great deal of patience because you stand in line alot." To date, I've stood in line outside in Boston in January in the middle of the night, I've stood in line in Boston in the humidity 14 weeks pregnant, I've stood in line for various meet and greets, photo opportunities and finally in line for 6 hours for the Back Rub. It was a total cluster fuck. No one knew where the wait or what time to line up. Ugh, stress. Finally some woman from the cruise came out with green wristbands. I pushed and shoved to get one. Was it worth it? yes, and let me tell you why....
Here's the thing, I can't describe the back rub. There are no words. You need to live it or hear it or see it. There is just no way to put into words what you experience. Simply put it's Donnie on stage talking semi dirty while massaging various lucky girls.... Sounds silly. People mock it--- but you come out a changed woman. Donnie would always take it so far without crossing the line. Well, that was LAST year. This year it was pornographic. Dirty. Hot. Sexy. Did I say pornographic???? I was mesmerized and the fantasy of Donnie is probably better than the real thing, which is fine. I watched him choose girls from the audience and feed them chocolate covered strawberries and champagne while saying amazingly sexual things. I totally blacked out for a minute, I'm sure of it.
At one point, he brought a girl on stage and poured whipped cream into her mouth only to lick the excess off her chin. Yup. Hot. Just hot. At that point, Donnie takes a fresh can of whipped cream and says, "Ladies, close your eyes. If you feel near you, open your mouth." As he walked through the crowd, he saw girls peaking and told them they lucked out. My eyes were closed so tight, I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to open them again. Just then, I felt a presence of someone in front of me, then his fingers on my lips.... so, I did what I was told ad opened my mouth only to have him pour whipped cream into my mouth...... *ugh.* There was some excess whipped cream on my chin too--- now, because my eyes were closed I don't know if he used his fingers or his tongue to remove it. I wish I could write about the rest of the show, but I don't know what happened. By this point, I was in my own world. My own place. My own fantasy. Next I knew, the lights were up and GF#2 said, "are you ok? Its time to go."
Off we went to get dressed for Red Carpet night, our last night on the cruise. Our last night to party on the Lido Deck. We saw an amazing acoustic show with Danny Wood then listened to Joe McIntyre belt out Broadway tunes. FYI, Joe is hilarious. He's hilarious when he's drunk, when he's sober, whenever. He entertains a crowd and draws the women in like Donnie does but in a whole different way. I think he may be my #2 favorite--- if I had to choose.
After the shows, I ran to the casino so I could watch Donnie play poker. Yup. Sounds just as exciting as watching gold. Actually, golf may be a tad more exciting. Wow. It was hot and boring. But, there was some humorous commentary by Joe which created a bit more enjoyment but overall, I stood there in 5 inch heels and a cocktail dress to watch Donnie. Last year he had a microphone and was funny. This year, there was no microphone. Just a bullhorn so there was nothing to really hear. Being a true Donnie girl, it's really all about seeing him--- he doesn't have to say a thing.
Rumor had it there was a torrential downpour out on the Lido Deck but thankfully it stopped by the time we were out there. It was our last chance to party. GF #2 and I grabbed GF#1 and we partied until we couldn't anymore. We watched our boys in tuxedos dance, sing and tell us they love us. Unless you've been on the cruise, you don't understand what this truly means to be there. It's such an intimate environment that you walk off that boat and feel like you've really gotten to know these guys. You partied with them.... it was one on one time. It was amazing.....
Can't wait until next year.
Cruise 2011: Day 3 (Pink Night)
This by far was one of the best days of the cruise because we actually didn't do anything. We slept in and went for breakfast at the buffet-- which was just about to close for lunch--- and relaxed. GF#1 wanted more time in the sun, per usual and GF#2 was taking scenic shots of Nassau. I guess we could have taken a journey off the boat but honestly, I was tired. I snuggled up on a chair by the quiet pool with my iPad when I heard some girls whispering, "Donnie is getting ice cream at the buffet." Just like Wonder Woman, I leaped up out of my seat and tried to get into the dining hall as quickly as possible. Sadly, the moment was lost. It was at this point when I ran into some friends who sadly had a crazy fan attached to them.
This pretty much sums it up: she slept with the DJ to try and sleep with one of the guys. In the course of the conversation she began to tell me what a man whore Donnie was and ruined my day. How dare you say something like that about him? who the fuck was this girl? Clearly a classless whore. I allowed it to consume me for about an hour and decided it was nap time. It was my only nap on the cruise but it was great.
We all started to get ready for pink night which was a fundraiser for breast cancer. You would think our energy would have been high but speaking for myself, I was getting tired. After dinner we ran up to the Lido deck to get ready to party. I was secure in the thought I was going to make this an early night-- especially since the next day was a big one. It was the Back Rub.... but more on that later. I was out on the deck and wouldn't you know, the battery on my camera died. FML. Now what??????
Here's an idea, why don't I just watch them and enjoy them? So I did. I put my camera away, and stood there watching Donnie stand on one of the B stages and soaked it in..... For the first time, in a long time, I enjoyed the moment. I watched him work the crowd in his salmon colored sweater vest and pink fedora..... I think there were 4 other guys there too but I can't be certain. That night they were inconsequential. Of all the nights on the boat, dancing on the Lido deck, this night in particular stands out for me. Maybe because I wasn't trying to get near him or to secure the perfect photo... I don't know. Everything came full circle for me that night. I was in awe of the crowds and his magic over all these women. It was sort of amazing.
The highlight of course was him coming through the crowd on the shoulders of one his bodyguards and he grabbed my hand (along with hundreds of others) but it was awesome. I have to say, his singing the words to "Tonight I'm Fucking You" by Enrique Inglesias was pretty hot too.... I enjoyed that moment and can remember it vividly. I would be remiss if I didn't mention the DJ.... and how TERRIBLE he was. I mean, horrendous. Not only was he constantly putting himself up on the LCD screen, every other song was about "bitches." I probably wouldn't have noticed it except for the fact that Donnie stopped the DJ and said, "there are no bitches on this ship." Let's just say, that's the last we saw of THAT DJ.
It was the end to another amazing day but we knew in the back of our minds that we only had one more night on the Lido Deck..... *sigh* Sometimes, I still wish I was on that Lido Deck. I'm thankful that I soaked up that night. I was on a pure high dancing in my sparkling Louboutins until the wee hours of the night.
This pretty much sums it up: she slept with the DJ to try and sleep with one of the guys. In the course of the conversation she began to tell me what a man whore Donnie was and ruined my day. How dare you say something like that about him? who the fuck was this girl? Clearly a classless whore. I allowed it to consume me for about an hour and decided it was nap time. It was my only nap on the cruise but it was great.
We all started to get ready for pink night which was a fundraiser for breast cancer. You would think our energy would have been high but speaking for myself, I was getting tired. After dinner we ran up to the Lido deck to get ready to party. I was secure in the thought I was going to make this an early night-- especially since the next day was a big one. It was the Back Rub.... but more on that later. I was out on the deck and wouldn't you know, the battery on my camera died. FML. Now what??????
Here's an idea, why don't I just watch them and enjoy them? So I did. I put my camera away, and stood there watching Donnie stand on one of the B stages and soaked it in..... For the first time, in a long time, I enjoyed the moment. I watched him work the crowd in his salmon colored sweater vest and pink fedora..... I think there were 4 other guys there too but I can't be certain. That night they were inconsequential. Of all the nights on the boat, dancing on the Lido deck, this night in particular stands out for me. Maybe because I wasn't trying to get near him or to secure the perfect photo... I don't know. Everything came full circle for me that night. I was in awe of the crowds and his magic over all these women. It was sort of amazing.
The highlight of course was him coming through the crowd on the shoulders of one his bodyguards and he grabbed my hand (along with hundreds of others) but it was awesome. I have to say, his singing the words to "Tonight I'm Fucking You" by Enrique Inglesias was pretty hot too.... I enjoyed that moment and can remember it vividly. I would be remiss if I didn't mention the DJ.... and how TERRIBLE he was. I mean, horrendous. Not only was he constantly putting himself up on the LCD screen, every other song was about "bitches." I probably wouldn't have noticed it except for the fact that Donnie stopped the DJ and said, "there are no bitches on this ship." Let's just say, that's the last we saw of THAT DJ.
It was the end to another amazing day but we knew in the back of our minds that we only had one more night on the Lido Deck..... *sigh* Sometimes, I still wish I was on that Lido Deck. I'm thankful that I soaked up that night. I was on a pure high dancing in my sparkling Louboutins until the wee hours of the night.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Cruise 2011: Day 2 (Pajamajam Party)
Before I begin this blog, let me say, this was one of the best days EVER :)
We woke up early the next morning and ate our continental breakfast out on the balcony. We were anchored in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean at Half Moon Cay. Today was concert day. I am the first to admit that when the itinerary came through and it said "Concert to be held on Half Moon Cay at 1:00 pm" I read it three times. Was it possible these ass clowns were going to perform in the mid-day sun, heat, and humidity? On an island? While we STOOD and watched? No fucking way. Couldn't be possible. Had to be a typo. It just had to. Who would be that masochistic to the fans they appear to adore so much? Sadly, it was true.
The three of us boarded the tender to Half Moon Cay equip with our foam fingers. Mine, blaring I heart Donnie. GF#1 couldn't decide so she hearted Joe on one side and Jordan on the other. GF#2 fully supported Jon as being her Number One. #2 insisted we do foam fingers while shopping for door decorating accoutrement at Michael's--- this would turn out later to be the best idea she's ever had in the 23 years I've known her. My best idea ever? Renting floaties for the day and watching the concert from the ocean. ...which we did. Foam fingers and all.
After cooking in the sun for HOURS we watched the concert. I was hoping Donnie would take his shirt off but remained satisfied with him, dressed all in white again, with his shirt unbuttoned. Happiness. The show was short--- I'm guessing half way through they also realized what a fucking stupid idea this was. After the performance, we hopped a tender excited to shower and get ready for pajama night. This was a big night for me and Donnie. It was the season finale of Blue Bloods and the Lido Deck was going to broadcast it live. GF#1 and #2 were amazing and sat waiting for 3 hours so I could have a good seat. At least what I thought would be a good seat.
I was definitely ready for bed dressed in my Old Navy pajama pants and my Team Wahlberg t-shirt after sitting in the hot sun all day. I needed a boost. Turns out my old friend, Bahama Mama was there to help me out. Before the show premiered I sucked down 2.5 of them. I was feeling pretty good and ready to P-A-R-T-Y. Woot!
At 10 pm, you could hear a pin drop in a crowd of 2500 people. We were all focused on the huge LCD screen watching a SUPER BIG MOVIE SIZE Donnie in the season finale of everyone's favorite show. (As a side note, I did call my husband earlier in the day to make sure he taped this for me "just in case" I was distracted from watching). During commercial breaks, Donnie told cute anecdotes and made jokes during the show.... About half way through the show, he said he wanted to sit on his VIP couch with someone to watch the rest of the show and were there any volunteers?
At this moment, the seas parted..... angels began to sing... and I raised my foam finger emblazoned with I Heart Donnie in glitter glue only to hear, "You with the hand!" as he pointed to little old me. Me? Me? You want to sit with me? I'm not sure how I got up to the couch-- I believe I floated on a sparkling cloud..... and before I knew it, I was sitting on this white couch with Donnie Wahlberg. I think he picked another fan too. I don't know. That part is inconsequential.
GF#1 and #2 anxiously asked me what happened and what we discussed when I finally descended from my throne. I told them everything. How he offered me Grey Goose and Cranberry (his drink of choice when its not Red Bull) or something to eat, perhaps some of his guacamole and tortilla chips? I declined both telling him he'd already given me more than I could ask for-- insert kiss #1 on my neck. He's a messy little eater and I needed to help place the napkin on his lap. I held his microphone and he put his arm around me. I patiently waited for a commercial to talk to him and pretended to watch the show while playing out a conversation in my head. I told him thank you-- thank you for all that you do, for all he gives and that he goes above and beyond-- insert kiss #2 on my neck as he whispered thank you into my ear. *sigh*
Bahama Mama did me wrong that night as she fully kicked in when I was on the couch, but that gave me to courage to chit chat. I asked him when he sleeps--- because honestly, I don't think the man ever sleeps. He smiled and said, "On the plane." He was off for more food and once again offered me a cocktail..... Sadly all good things come to an end. The credits rolled and my moment was over. I thanked him again-- got one of those huge Donnie bear hugs which he is so famous for- insert kiss on the check and kiss #3 on my neck. He smelled just as amazing as always--- I believe I've said it before, his scent must be close to that of God's.......
I was full on drunk from those 2.5 Bahama Mamas by the time the Lido Deck party started. The guys were dressed in togas. See through togas and it was very, very windy that night. At this time, I would like to thank those girls who were close enough to get pictures of what happened when the wind blew. I partied hard with the crew and beat back the beat with my foam finger while trying to unsuccessfully pimp out GF#1. Ugh, again, this is why I shouldn't drink hard alcohol. I staggered back to the room sometime in the wee hours with #2. Again, we lost #1 early on.... it was ok though. I was on a high. Nothing was going to top this right? What else could possibly happen with Donnie? But, I was on The Destiny and there was more in store for me........
We woke up early the next morning and ate our continental breakfast out on the balcony. We were anchored in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean at Half Moon Cay. Today was concert day. I am the first to admit that when the itinerary came through and it said "Concert to be held on Half Moon Cay at 1:00 pm" I read it three times. Was it possible these ass clowns were going to perform in the mid-day sun, heat, and humidity? On an island? While we STOOD and watched? No fucking way. Couldn't be possible. Had to be a typo. It just had to. Who would be that masochistic to the fans they appear to adore so much? Sadly, it was true.
The three of us boarded the tender to Half Moon Cay equip with our foam fingers. Mine, blaring I heart Donnie. GF#1 couldn't decide so she hearted Joe on one side and Jordan on the other. GF#2 fully supported Jon as being her Number One. #2 insisted we do foam fingers while shopping for door decorating accoutrement at Michael's--- this would turn out later to be the best idea she's ever had in the 23 years I've known her. My best idea ever? Renting floaties for the day and watching the concert from the ocean. ...which we did. Foam fingers and all.
After cooking in the sun for HOURS we watched the concert. I was hoping Donnie would take his shirt off but remained satisfied with him, dressed all in white again, with his shirt unbuttoned. Happiness. The show was short--- I'm guessing half way through they also realized what a fucking stupid idea this was. After the performance, we hopped a tender excited to shower and get ready for pajama night. This was a big night for me and Donnie. It was the season finale of Blue Bloods and the Lido Deck was going to broadcast it live. GF#1 and #2 were amazing and sat waiting for 3 hours so I could have a good seat. At least what I thought would be a good seat.
I was definitely ready for bed dressed in my Old Navy pajama pants and my Team Wahlberg t-shirt after sitting in the hot sun all day. I needed a boost. Turns out my old friend, Bahama Mama was there to help me out. Before the show premiered I sucked down 2.5 of them. I was feeling pretty good and ready to P-A-R-T-Y. Woot!
At 10 pm, you could hear a pin drop in a crowd of 2500 people. We were all focused on the huge LCD screen watching a SUPER BIG MOVIE SIZE Donnie in the season finale of everyone's favorite show. (As a side note, I did call my husband earlier in the day to make sure he taped this for me "just in case" I was distracted from watching). During commercial breaks, Donnie told cute anecdotes and made jokes during the show.... About half way through the show, he said he wanted to sit on his VIP couch with someone to watch the rest of the show and were there any volunteers?
At this moment, the seas parted..... angels began to sing... and I raised my foam finger emblazoned with I Heart Donnie in glitter glue only to hear, "You with the hand!" as he pointed to little old me. Me? Me? You want to sit with me? I'm not sure how I got up to the couch-- I believe I floated on a sparkling cloud..... and before I knew it, I was sitting on this white couch with Donnie Wahlberg. I think he picked another fan too. I don't know. That part is inconsequential.
GF#1 and #2 anxiously asked me what happened and what we discussed when I finally descended from my throne. I told them everything. How he offered me Grey Goose and Cranberry (his drink of choice when its not Red Bull) or something to eat, perhaps some of his guacamole and tortilla chips? I declined both telling him he'd already given me more than I could ask for-- insert kiss #1 on my neck. He's a messy little eater and I needed to help place the napkin on his lap. I held his microphone and he put his arm around me. I patiently waited for a commercial to talk to him and pretended to watch the show while playing out a conversation in my head. I told him thank you-- thank you for all that you do, for all he gives and that he goes above and beyond-- insert kiss #2 on my neck as he whispered thank you into my ear. *sigh*
Bahama Mama did me wrong that night as she fully kicked in when I was on the couch, but that gave me to courage to chit chat. I asked him when he sleeps--- because honestly, I don't think the man ever sleeps. He smiled and said, "On the plane." He was off for more food and once again offered me a cocktail..... Sadly all good things come to an end. The credits rolled and my moment was over. I thanked him again-- got one of those huge Donnie bear hugs which he is so famous for- insert kiss on the check and kiss #3 on my neck. He smelled just as amazing as always--- I believe I've said it before, his scent must be close to that of God's.......
I was full on drunk from those 2.5 Bahama Mamas by the time the Lido Deck party started. The guys were dressed in togas. See through togas and it was very, very windy that night. At this time, I would like to thank those girls who were close enough to get pictures of what happened when the wind blew. I partied hard with the crew and beat back the beat with my foam finger while trying to unsuccessfully pimp out GF#1. Ugh, again, this is why I shouldn't drink hard alcohol. I staggered back to the room sometime in the wee hours with #2. Again, we lost #1 early on.... it was ok though. I was on a high. Nothing was going to top this right? What else could possibly happen with Donnie? But, I was on The Destiny and there was more in store for me........
Cruise 2011: Day 1 (80's Night)
In order to be a REAL NKOTB fan, you have to accept the fact you will be standing in lines. Long-ass lines which go on for miles and last for hours. Although the Doorman of the hotel asked if we were with the cruise, and was about to put us in the same van as the guys and their crew, GF#1 and #2 convinced me it was "wrong" to hop in the van. I should mention here that all the New Kids stayed at our hotel and I didn't once go banging on every door of the hotel to find Donnie. I believe I should be applauded on my responsible and civil behavior. But I digress.... The three of us hopped into a cab and off we went to the Port of Miami to board the Destiny. Upon arrival we encountered the first of many of those lines..... but admittedly we were highly entertained at the sights, um, er, fans....
Once inside, I found myself trying to get past the lines faster by attempting to flirt with Johnny, Donnie's seemingly useless assistant (I never did figure out what he did- what I do know is he never came through with his promise once he saw our cabin door. A promise to fulfill Operation Get D-Dub in here.). I was unsuccessful but we passed the time texting and using the Internet before it was gone from us for 5 days. Although I was excited, the excitement STILL had not hit me. I was just not feeling it and began to get anxious. Why wasn't I excited like I was last year? I had my girls with me and we were meeting up with more but yet, something still wasn't there.
At 5:00, a horn sounded and as we pulled out of port, the DJ got louder and I heard a voice. A magical voice. A smooth sexy voice asking me (well 2500 of us) if we were ready to party. Then, dressed all in white like an angel he appeared---- DONNIE. It was then the excitement began and I realized what was missing. We danced and danced as the boat pulled out of port knowing this was just the beginning of a long night.
It was 80's night and the guys were doing their version of Nickelodeon's Double Dare. We were grouped in the later show, purposely, because we knew the guys would be drunk. And for any past cruisers, we all know how fun Drunk Jon is.... Drunk Joe being a close second.... but for my first time, I saw Drunk Donnie. My love grew even more as my heart doubled in size. Once the game show started, hilarity ensued and I believe the phrase "hash tag justsayin" had earned its spot as the inside joke for the rest of the cruise.
The was so much to take in and I laughed harder than I had in a long time.... For me, two moments stand out. First, when asked the question "What is the Pleasure Pit?" Jon knew the answer immediately. Second, was one of the physical challenges. Watching Donnie suck M&M's through a straw does something to a girl. Funny line here? Jordan Knight, "Let Jon do it. He can suck a watermelon through a hose." Even funnier line? Jon Knight, "Do you get extra points if you suck one with a nut?" But the best line, Donnie Wahlberg, "I'm a little shocked at how good I was at sucking on the straw." (insert gay innuendo at Jon here).
Although our sides hurt from laughing so hard, we ran to the Lido Deck where we knew the real party was going to start. The DJ pumped up 80's music and we danced in anticipation of our boys arrival to the party. They were dressed in original costumes from the Hangin' Tough tour-- complete with ripped jeans. This came in handy because as assisted in passing Donnie through the crowd as he body surfed, I was able to stick my hands in the holes and grab his butt. Then rub it. I didn't think anything was going to compare to that moment but little did I know what was in store.... We lost GF#1 early on but #2 and I danced into the wee hours singing along to "Lucky Star" and "Sweet Child o'Mine" before stumbling back to our room at 4 am........
Once inside, I found myself trying to get past the lines faster by attempting to flirt with Johnny, Donnie's seemingly useless assistant (I never did figure out what he did- what I do know is he never came through with his promise once he saw our cabin door. A promise to fulfill Operation Get D-Dub in here.). I was unsuccessful but we passed the time texting and using the Internet before it was gone from us for 5 days. Although I was excited, the excitement STILL had not hit me. I was just not feeling it and began to get anxious. Why wasn't I excited like I was last year? I had my girls with me and we were meeting up with more but yet, something still wasn't there.
At 5:00, a horn sounded and as we pulled out of port, the DJ got louder and I heard a voice. A magical voice. A smooth sexy voice asking me (well 2500 of us) if we were ready to party. Then, dressed all in white like an angel he appeared---- DONNIE. It was then the excitement began and I realized what was missing. We danced and danced as the boat pulled out of port knowing this was just the beginning of a long night.
It was 80's night and the guys were doing their version of Nickelodeon's Double Dare. We were grouped in the later show, purposely, because we knew the guys would be drunk. And for any past cruisers, we all know how fun Drunk Jon is.... Drunk Joe being a close second.... but for my first time, I saw Drunk Donnie. My love grew even more as my heart doubled in size. Once the game show started, hilarity ensued and I believe the phrase "hash tag justsayin" had earned its spot as the inside joke for the rest of the cruise.
The was so much to take in and I laughed harder than I had in a long time.... For me, two moments stand out. First, when asked the question "What is the Pleasure Pit?" Jon knew the answer immediately. Second, was one of the physical challenges. Watching Donnie suck M&M's through a straw does something to a girl. Funny line here? Jordan Knight, "Let Jon do it. He can suck a watermelon through a hose." Even funnier line? Jon Knight, "Do you get extra points if you suck one with a nut?" But the best line, Donnie Wahlberg, "I'm a little shocked at how good I was at sucking on the straw." (insert gay innuendo at Jon here).
Although our sides hurt from laughing so hard, we ran to the Lido Deck where we knew the real party was going to start. The DJ pumped up 80's music and we danced in anticipation of our boys arrival to the party. They were dressed in original costumes from the Hangin' Tough tour-- complete with ripped jeans. This came in handy because as assisted in passing Donnie through the crowd as he body surfed, I was able to stick my hands in the holes and grab his butt. Then rub it. I didn't think anything was going to compare to that moment but little did I know what was in store.... We lost GF#1 early on but #2 and I danced into the wee hours singing along to "Lucky Star" and "Sweet Child o'Mine" before stumbling back to our room at 4 am........
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