Shiny Happy People

As I have mentioned before, friends have always been my support system.  For the most part, they are substitute brothers and/or sisters for me.  I've never been part of a large clique and choose who I keep close to me very, very carefully.  You can't pick your family but you can pick your friends, so why not make sure those you let in are the right ones? 

Admittedly, I was different person before my father died.  Some may disagree, but I was much more selfish then and it has nothing to do with maturing.  I saw things more clearly after he was gone.... Things he used to say to me made more sense (ie, keep your friends close and your enemies closer--- ugh, so Italian right?).  I tried to become a better person and I know I did.  Over the years I relapsed.... Old habits die hard and no one can become perfect over night, even though I tried.

The people who are in my life now, have pretty much been around for the last 12 years or longer.  I have these friends and I'm really not looking for anymore (which I try not to make obvious, but I know I do because I'm really not a nice person).  All of the people in my life have one thing in common-- loyalty.  I've kept them close to me because they were individuals I could count on when I needed them the most.  I obviously, I have certain friends that I'm a bit closer too.  One has been hanging around in my corner for 26 LONG years.  Interestingly, she's an only child as well.  Our childhoods were polar opposites but somehow, we are exactly the same in so many ways.  She's surpassed the level of friend and has become family--- the perfect sister, in my mind but again, I chose her to be in my life (and vice versa).  Big shout out to "Lilijohnson."

When my dad died, those people who were in my life showed their true colors.  I cut many people out for shear disappointment of their behavior....  sad really.  I still hold a grudge too (this is not because I'm an only child or a woman... but because I'm Italian.  you don't fuck with respect, people). Some made the cut, and they are still dear friends of mine to this day. 

With my mom's diagnosis, I was again surprised with the behavior of some friends.  Of course we're older now with more responsibilities, but in today's world of technology, it takes mere moments to send an email, text, tweet, etc to see how my mom is or how I am.  I'm not complaining though (karma, people)-- I'm using it as a segue to discuss one person who surpassed any expectations I may have had.

After I shared my mom's diagnosis with several close friends, via email, I received a remarkable response.  I've mentioned this before, I'm not a crier but this one email made me teary.  Since most of my friends are from college and law school, I'm miles apart from them.... which is heartbreaking.  I don't like to mention names in my blog, so I won't, but her email to me brought back emotions (both good and bad) of a period of time where she and I were inseparable in one another's lives.  When my father died, she was there with me days before the services, the days of the services and days after the services doing what she could to help me cope.

Her personality can only be described as sunny and during this "dark" period in my life, her email brought a light that I needed.  She has (unknowingly) inspired me to stay strong and think positive. As I read her email, I had chills.  It reminded me that no matter how far apart we may be, we'll always have a place in each other's heart.  Sometimes, when you're sad, all you need is a little reassurance at how special you are to someone else.