Only children are very easy to stereotype and I can say that 99.9% of it is true. We're all the same. The more I meet, the more I see it. I refuse to list the littany of problems people thing we have. I know we're weird. I've been told that by some of my dearest closest friends. It's true-- we are weird. There are variations of what we share as characteristics but there is one thing we all crave: ALONE TIME.
Growing up in a household without chaos of siblings, you become accustomed to a certain calmness. I grew up in an extreme case. My dad believed children should be seen and not heard--- which I thought was fine. But some of my fondest memories are sitting in my room with a book and not a peep in the house. Or as I grew older, having the house to myself. College was a difficult transitiion for me because I actually, for the first time ever, had to share a room and was around people ALL THE TIME. There was no alone time-- unless I went out for random escapes--- which I did.
Alone time is more than just a time to decompress. It's a necessity to my survival. I was able to experience it more before my daughter came along. I miss those Saturday afternoons when my husband was at work and it would be the middle of February and I'd be curled up in a blanket watching movies and taking naps. Ahhhh...... Heavan. I wouldn't change my Saturdays now but I miss those days.
I have no issue going to the movies alone, eating alone, being alone-- for a period of time. As a mom, my only me time is when I lock the bathroom door and take a long bath. Sometimes my favorite time of the day, as brief as it may be is when my daughter is in her crib and my husband isn't home yet. It may only be 20 minutes but it's 20 minutes of QUIET uninterrupted me time.
As an only, I didn't have to share my time with anyone if I didn't want to.... My mom would tell you that I complained about being bored-- all the time. I guess that's accurate but there were those moments of pure bliss when I'd be on my bed, reading a Sweet Valley High book from beginning to end, and NO one interrupted me. Now adays, I get excited when my husband takes the baby out for a little one on one time. Because I have the house to myself. Again, I don't think people who aren't onlies can relte to this on the same level. We crave it like we crave air.
I still get my quiet alone time.... it's just few and far between but, it's cherished more now. Some day, my daughter will be grown up and I'll think back to this, and be sad because I'll miss her being around all the time. That being said, I'm sure my mom is pretty happy that I'm grown, out of the house and she doesn't have to deal with me and my neurosis on a daily basis. Alone time can work in the opposite for me, especialy lately but I think I'm at a point where alone time is what I need to get my head straight.
It's amazing to think how fucked up I really am. I wonder how many onlies think they are fucked up. I'm ok with being fucked up though. I have one child and she's going to be the same way--- probably. I'm not maladjusted.... nor do I live in a state of denial. I chose to live in a world of alternate reality. In that world, the sky is always sunny, Donnie Wahlberg is just there (no purpose necessary) and I have lots of quiet time. Is that really so bad?
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