(after the heaviness of yesterday's blog, I needed something fun)
Merriam Webster defines Monogamy as : the state or custom of being married to one person at a time. This blog has nothing to do about sexual relationships or open marriages. I have three husbands and I wouldn't have it any other way. Delusional? Possibly but important none the less. There are three men in my life, one way or another, and they all serve a different purpose. They are not all of equal importance but they all do something important for me. The best way is to start off talking about them in order of importance.
1. Legal Husband This is the man I am legit married to.... wore the white dress exchanged vows, twice and have a child with. He is um, AMAZING. I could go on about all the wonderful things he does for me but if you follow the blog consistently, you know how great he is. Do we have a perfect marriage? No, but it's pretty fucking close. He loves me unconditionally. I'm going through a rough patch in my life and he still comes home to me everyday. In his own words he's said, "It's my job to take care of you." That's exactly what he does. I complain more than I should about the hours he works but really, it's because I miss him. I want him home with my daughter and I. Sunday is my favorite day of the week because we are together as a family. It reminds me of MY childhood. And now that football is coming to an end (as Melissa Gorga says, "Thank you Jesus.") there will be more fun times. He started out as a boyfriend, became a husband and now is a best friend. I can't imagine my life without him. Not many people would put up with my shit and he does--- more than anyone. Not only that, but he does it with a smile on his face. His positive attitude and love of life motivates me to be a better person-- even though he doesn't know it. I still get excited when I heard the garage door open every night. And nothing melts my heart more than when I see my daughter run into his arms saying "Daddy!!!!!" It's moments like those that I'll treasure for the rest of my life. Aside from the Anorexia there is just so much shit he deals with.... My constant anxiety. My obsession with Donnie Wahlberg. My need to own fucking fantastic shoes (FYI, in case anyone is interested, he created that obsession although it takes much goading to get him to admit it). I tease him a lot--- he's not a very emotional person. Didn't cry when he proposed, when we got married, when I told him I was pregnant, when his mother died or when our child was born. He does cry at Rudy but apparently I'm told that's normal. ....this crying thing is going somewhere, I promise. It illustrates again what an amazing man I married. It's no secret that I have had the shittiest fucking year of my life. I never really look forward to Christmas and the holidays but I try hard (despite what he says). Yet, he made this the best Christmas ever. Christmas morning he handed me a small tie box saying, "here's a gag gift." I open it only to find a picture of me and Will. In the picture, there is a cartoon balloon next to Will's face saying, "Merry Christmas." Underneath the photo was an itinerary..... He flew my gay husband out for a week as my Christmas present. Not many men fly another man to spend the week with their wives.... I of course began sobbing-- tears of joy for a change only to notice, he was crying too. I think at that moment I fell madly in love with him all over again.....
2.Will: Perfect segue into husband number 2. We were Will and Grace before there ever was a Will and Grace. Call me a hag, call me a beard, call me whatever you want but in the end I am Grace. I am the Grace and he is the only Will. Will and I go back.... um..... fuck! 18 years. Holy shit. That's a long ass time. Will has been there for me through the death of my father, my graduation from college, law school, my first real breakup, my marriage and the birth of my child. Through it all he's been honest and supportive. Given the fact that he is gay, there are certain voids he fills that my husband doesn't fill. Sounds silly, but being able to quote movie lines from "Mommie Dearest," as cliche as it may sound, is part of our bond. Will and I lived together for nearly three years. I remember a lot of laughs. He ironed my clothes and kept the bathroom bleached -- which was the extent of any stereotypical gay tendencies he may have. He's not an interior designer and although he has great style, he still looks to me for my opinion. Will is funny. Plain and simple, he's hilarious but other than me, not to many people find his jokes amusing. I still laugh at the same stories, the same jokes, the same pitfalls he's been into for years. He's the only person I know that can sit and watch as much mindless reality TV as I can. I don't mean, good reality shows like Intervention or RHOBH but trash like, Strange Sex or I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. Good shit like that. We are mesmerized by them.... shocked and ultimately hysterical at the nonsense. Um, hello? My Strange Addiction. There's more to Will's contribution to me than reality TV. Even though we have up and downs like most married couples, I can't imagine life without him. He serves a purpose in my life, as I do him. We may not have a piece of paper saying we're married but we have definitely made a verbal declaration of our love and have promised to spend our remaining years at PRC. Most importantly, Will has the daunting and important task to spread my ashes at the foot of the Eiffel Tower. I trust him whole heartedly-- even though I can foresee SOMETHING going wrong since everything always does.... Dances with Dark Clouds. He is proof that you can have love and marriage to someone without a sexual relationship. He's not just a best friend and brother never seemed to fit to describe him. He's my gay husband. It's the only the only way I can see him. He's just as irreplaceable as my legal husband.
3.Donnie Wahlberg : Ok. I know what you're thinking. He's NOT my husband. Not even close. I may even sound delusional. Although, let's not forget we've kissed, somewhat passionately, and snuggled on the couch while watching Blue Bloods together so in my mind, that accounts for something. I like to think of him as my imaginary husband, you know, like we're friends in my head. He recognizes me and no, it's not in the "I'm scared. Security!" way but more of the "Now, we've met before haven't we?" Let's face it, the man told me he is in awe of me. It's a line but I'll fucking take what I can get. No doubt. So I'm sure the question is, since he really ISN'T part of my life, what does he do for me that a husband would do? Ok, not much on a personal basis but his D-Dub persona is filled with nothing but unconditional love for all of his fans no matter color, size, ethnic background.... People can say he gets paid to do it but once you're in his company, you feel the energy and the love. It's not something you can believe unless you feel it. He allows me to retreat to a time when I was 14 and I wasn't anyone's mom or wife or employee and life was about having fun. Dancing with your girlfriends. Screaming at concerts. Pure bliss. It's not even his D-Dub persona--- it's Donnie himself. Watching Blue Bloods or his occasional appearance on a talk show makes me giddy. He's hot too (notice how long it's taken me to add that). He's a crush and has been for nearly 23 years--- which honestly, is longer than I've loved my husband. I enjoy him-- whether he's acting, singing, dancing or just present. He's my fantasy football. Both Will and my husband bring me joy but there are times when even they can't but hearing "Single" puts a smile on my face and my mind clears-- even for just three minutes. Oh, and he loves me. I know because he's told me so.....
There they are. The men in my life. I cherish them all. They are all there to celebrate the good times (whether physically or just at arms reach) and they all cheer me up in my own way when I'm sad. Every girl needs each of these. It will complete her.
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