It so happens that gay pride month is the same month of my best friend's birthday. I should mention the significance of this is the fact that he's gay. Since I never use names, we'll just call him Will. June has always been dubbed "Will Appreciation Month." Obviously a birthday celebration shouldn't last just ONE day.... and the concept of an entire month of appreciation was his idea. Of course, being an only child who had birthday extravaganza's every year, I decided to adopt this way of thinking.
Per usual I am late with his birthday present but I spent a great deal of time thinking about it, and have finally come up with the perfect gift. At least I hope he thinks so. In addition to the gift itself, I sort of thought I would take the opportunity to write a blog not necessarily about Will specifically, but why EVERY Grace (me) needs a Will in her life. Will and I have been friends for 17 years. Yes, there have been ups and downs. A few heated arguments and even periods of separation (although brief, painful nonetheless). We were Will and Grace before there was a Will and Grace.
Finally, there came a point in our lives where our dream was to be fulfilled--- we were moving in together (again, this was before it became hip to live with your gay best friend). Will isn't a stereotypical gay man-- by that I mean, when you say the word gay man, usually Liberace or more recently, Christian Soriano come to mind. He's like neither. But, they won't take his rainbow card away because he does maintain some of the traits of a gay man (well dressed, well coiffed and well versed in "Mommie Dearest"). Living together was the best 2.5 years of my life-- whether or not he knows it.
Anyway, I decided to put together a top 10 list of why every Grace Needs a Will. I love lists and it's the best way to express myself. As usual, I'll start in reverse.
10. Good for the ego--- Will constantly tells me how beautiful I am, how chic I am, how I'm working it... I love it.
9. Honest when shopping--- Will has no problem telling me something looks bad on me before I make a horrendous mistake on a purchase that will no doubt sit in my closet.
8. Enjoys chick flicks--- We've watched Steel Magnolias, Fried Green Tomatoes and Mommie Dearest countless times.
7. Perpetual date-- I always had a wedding date, formal date, valentine, and so on even if he was dating someone. There was no jealousy.
6. Gay clubs/bars-- it's a place where you can go, dressed up in the shortest skirt and highest heels and NOT get hit on by creepy guys. It's all about going out and having fun without douchebags bothering you. The one draw back is, no one is buying you drinks.
5. Mutual love of hot men--- I know, stereotypical but one of favorite past times is to people watch and check out guys together. Again, there's no competition.
4. Drama -- there is not a gay man on the planet that does not have drama following him in some capacity. It makes my life seem a great deal more interesting when Will has drama going on in his life. It's exciting and invigorating with all the "No he did not" or "Are you EVEN kidding me right now?" which comes out of our mouths
3. Clean Bathrooms--- when we lived together, he bleached the entire bathroom down daily. It was awesome. He was worried about water bugs and made sure he killed that shit with the bleach. Gay men don't like bugs.... It's a nice thing. Aside from that, the seat was never up. There were never drops of urine on the seat. It was just pristine (as pristine as it could be for a bathroom in Queens).
2. Loyalty - every true Will is loyal to his Grace. Although mine has tried to find "psuedo-Graces" to hang out with since we live miles and miles and miles apart, he hasn't been able to find one. I haven't even attempted to search for a "psuedo Will." No one will even come close to him, so why waste my time? Eventually he'll figure that out. I choose just to be lonely.
1. Love- Hands down it's a special love/bond that I don't think can ever sever. He fulfills my needs in ways my female friends can't or my husband. It's not a brother/sister love--- I think it runs deeper than that. We "get" each other. There is a chemistry and a connection that I've never found with anyone else. I think the closest analogy would be what twins feel. It's funny because somehow, even though he is miles away, if I am having a really bad day or something is going on, I'll randomly get a phone call or a text. Almost as if he knew some how. Gay Man-Straigh Woman love is unique. I feel blessed to have it.
Willl is extraordinary, no doubt but no one is perfect. Again, we've had our moments. I may not always agree with him, but I support him and vice versa. I know I can count on him.... I've been able to do that for 17 years now, which is almost half my life. I can't imagine how these last 17years would have been without him in it. He's been there through the death of my father, my first round at beating anorexia, my difficulty to conceive and now--- when I seem to need him most as I battle this addiction to restricting food all over again. He never leaves me--- he may get mad at me, but he never leaves me. I'm sure there are many friends out there like this but, again, I think this type of relationship is unique.
I've learned a great deal being his friend and sharing his struggles. I hope he has too.
Happy Birthday Will. I love you.
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